So it seems that I may just very well be a masochist. Or just plain stupid when it comes to some people. It is one of those continuous things that I allow to happen and don't do anything about.
For some reason I had it in my head that people would or could change - I have since realized that people never change unless they, themselves want to.
(And to all those people out there that believe that they can change someone close to them - you're in the left field and the ball is in the right.. if you know what I'm saying..)
I give so many more chances than I should because I am always under the impression that I'm in your life for a reason and that reason usually generally will reveal itself over time.
Lately the reason is apparently to teach you a lesson that you can't walk all over people or use them as your emotional punching bag.
I'm kind of sick of the people who claim friendship with me. Turning your back on someone in a time of need is not friendship. Lying to them is not friendship. Hurting them is not friendship. Using them is not friendship.
This list could seriously go on and on and on but I'd rather not waste my time or yours, my dear readers.
If you're reading this and you know me - I want you to take a good look at our "friendship" and try and figure out whether or not it's been one sided or two.
If it's been one sided - it can go one of two ways.
Either I've been a shitty friend to you or you've clearly been a shitty one to me.
Now I may be delusional in some cases (but in others I'm pretty spot on) and it's clear to me that most of my friendships are one sided.
I can offer your my shoulder to cry on, the clothes off my back and a piece of my heart - and all you can do in return is spit in my face, rip my clothes and stomp the fuck out of my life line..
I don't care if what I say hurts you sometimes because I know it needs to be said. You're simply too blinded to realize that I've only ever wanted the best for you.
Instead you've treated me like a simple game and when you stop getting what you want from me - you're the one to throw the tantrum.
The funniest part of it all is that I was paying respect to you as a person. Telling you that you deserve better or are such a better person than all that.. and yet that allowed you to feel justified in walking away?
I am sad in a sense to see you go - but I'm pretty sure it's for the best. You took everything I said with a grain of salt and never once appreciated me for everything you put me through and everything I was willing to put up with... for the sake of what I thought was an important friendship within my life.
I hope you sort your shit out.
And to the rest of you - if you find that our relationship is one sided.. get the fuck out of my life. Either I have failed you as a friend or you have mistaken everything I have done and lack any appreciation for me... and that is something I want out of my life.
Maybe I will see you again and maybe I won't.
But I can almost say good riddance at this point.